“TRUST IS THE GLUE OF LIFE. IT’S THE MOST ESSENTIAL INGREDIENT IN EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION. IT’S THE FOUNDATION PRINCIPLE THAT HOLDS ALL RELATIONSHIPS.”
-Stephen Covey-
We probably all know what trust feels like; that comfortable feeling that we share with people closest to us, our friends, our family; we know we can rely on them, they will have our back, they will help us, they will listen to us and genuinely care and that feeling is completely mutual. When we have a relationship of trust, communication is often open and free flowing. We are not afraid to discuss sensitive issues and show our vulnerabilities that will further deepen our relationship, knowing that the other person will keep our stories about our ‘ups and downs in life’ confidential.
How does trust reveal itself in working relationships, for example between leaders and teams? How can we recognize whether teams operate with a high or low level of trust in their leaders? What are the characteristics and behavior of trusted or mistrusted leaders?
At the start of my career, I worked for a leader who had just started new in the organization. It wasn’t long before it became clear that the man had only one goal, and that was to reach the top within the company as quickly as possible. He spent most of his time outside the office. We never knew where he was or that he picked up our messages we had left for him when we needed him for a decision or advice, because he was not giving anyone access to his agenda. When he came to the office (often unexpectedly), the door to his office was often closed and he planned meetings that would always finish at least 1-2 hours late. During those appointments, little time was spent listening and answering our questions. Instead, he focused on his own agenda, which meant that he usually collected information from us that he needed to report to his superiors. Instead of a cooperative team working on a shared goal, we felt we were merely a ‘source’ that could feed him with what he needed for his individual success. As a team we were often unclear of what was going to happen, which resulted in unwillingness to take risks, further increasing our dependence on our leader to make decisions. We felt insecure, frustrated and undervalued. The morale of the team was low and gossip in the coffee corner increased, productivity and collaboration decreased, and people started to keep information for themselves.
Fortunately, I have also had the privilege and joy of working for a trusted leader. The same position, different approach. Again, this manager was travelling a lot, often to countries where (this was in the early nineties) internet and mobile networks were often of low quality or did not exist. But our team knew exactly where he would be, what the best way and time was to reach him or when he would call. When he was in the office, he spent a lot of time updating what was happening inside and outside the organization. He taught us the tricks of the trade and developed us as individuals and encouraged collaboration as a team. He knew that we had to be able to work independently, to make our own decisions, because he travelled so much. That didn’t mean that things always worked perfectly. I still remember one incident in which one of us made a mistake. His first reaction was “Damn”, but then he would bring the team together to think of how to solve the problem. We knew that he would not blame or point fingers but would focus on lessons learned and find solutions. He opened his network for us and allowed us to communicate directly with people higher in the organization. He gave us stretch goals, challenges, opportunities, ignited new ideas in us, gave us room to experiment and offered a safety net. We felt heard, we felt respected and we knew we became better in our jobs because of his leadership. That was what working was like in an environment with trust in our leader, trust in our colleagues and trust in ourselves.
For me he was an example of what authentic leadership looks like with confidence and trust as foundation principles and clear communication as his most effective tool and with one primary goal: to develop his team to be successful. Our success was his success.
