People will tell you all the time: “I know what I HAVE to do, but I don’t know HOW to”:
“I HAVE to grow my business, but I don’t know HOW to”.
“I HAVE to get more customers, but I don’t know HOW to”.
“I HAVE to find a new job, but I don’t know HOW to”.
“I HAVE to work better with my colleague, but I don’t know HOW to”.
They’ve read all the books on ‘HOW to grow your business in 3 months’, ‘HOW to make customers fall in love with you’, ‘HOW to better communicate at work’. They’ve tried a few things, but they still say they don’t know HOW to do it.
Don’t believe them.
The truth is, they DO know HOW, but there’s something holding them back. More often than not, that something is: FEAR.
FEAR to start a conversation
FEAR of failure when they try something new
FEAR of being judged
FEAR of showing up authentically (because their REAL personality is very different from the mask they’ve been hiding behind for so long).
How to break through the FEAR?
1. Change the language.
What if you changed the ‘I HAVE to’ to an ‘I WANT to’? I know this sounds really easy. But listen to the energy behind the word ‘I WANT to’ in terms of motivation. When people really WANT to do something, they’re more motivated to do it than when they HAVE to do it. Changing the language often changes the way they look at things.
But when people feel they are completely stuck, their language can be confusing; they say they WANT to, but actually they feel they NEED to (which is another form of HAVE to). Because they realise that what is required of them is to do something which is outside of their comfort zone (remember the FEAR). What do you do then?
2. Create urgency
There really is ONE way to overcome these fears and that’s URGENCY.
People feel a sense of urgency when they fear ‘something will be taken from them’ or when there’s a HUGE gain that will make people feel happy. In other words, people either ‘run away from pain’ or ‘run towards pleasure’.
Knowing this, we can create a sense of urgency by asking one of the following questions:
- Imagine getting 1 million dollars by the end of the month (US dollars not Hong Kong dollars, to make things even more attractive) if you got 3 more customers. What would you do?
- Imagine, your life would end if you didn’t find a way to grow your business. What would you do?
Be amazed by the ideas people would come up with on HOW to do it.
This is not just a ‘let’s imagine…’ game we play to get our brains into ‘creative mode’. Sometimes, this sense of urgency is what actually happens in real life. In fact, this is exactly what happened to all the amazing women I spoke to in preparation for and during yesterday’s webinar “The ONE Thing That Changes Everything” that Doris Leung, CEO of Diamond Cab in Hong Kong and I hosted for working women who survived cancer.
Overnight, successful businesswomen saw themselves faced with a diagnosis that was life-threatening and were left with no choice but to make drastic decisions in order to survive. Now, after their treatments have finished, they are returning to ‘normal’ life that almost always looks different from the life they had before cancer. Again, they completely re-prioritize their personal and professional lives by making very conscious choices. They WANT to spend their precious time and energy only on those things that they feel are most important to them in order to live the best possible life.
Do they experience FEAR? Absolutely. But their sense of urgency is real and motivates them to make bold, impactful, life-changing decisions.
Such a great reminder for us at times when we think we don’t know HOW to.
Let’s Lead!
